Sorry to read that you are struggling. I have recovered from addiction with a dual diagnosis. It wasn't until I recognized that I didn't have the answer that I was able to go outside of myself to find the strength to remain free from all D and A. Cigarettes were the hardest to quit. My belief is that it is a combination of genetics and behaviors, if going on benders were just a habit, or a moral issue, everyone would stop. For me I had to surrender to the fact that since I have the addiction my thinking alone cannot cure it.When I had the intense craving for a cigarette, my last addiction, I would meditate to ask my Higher Power for the strength to not cave in to the urge. If you don't have a higher power use mine, it works for me. Here is a secret link to my story, I hope it helps. https://douglasblom.substack.com/p/8c19c8c2-f721-4717-9461-fa645777f02b
Sorry to read that you are struggling. I have recovered from addiction with a dual diagnosis. It wasn't until I recognized that I didn't have the answer that I was able to go outside of myself to find the strength to remain free from all D and A. Cigarettes were the hardest to quit. My belief is that it is a combination of genetics and behaviors, if going on benders were just a habit, or a moral issue, everyone would stop. For me I had to surrender to the fact that since I have the addiction my thinking alone cannot cure it.When I had the intense craving for a cigarette, my last addiction, I would meditate to ask my Higher Power for the strength to not cave in to the urge. If you don't have a higher power use mine, it works for me. Here is a secret link to my story, I hope it helps. https://douglasblom.substack.com/p/8c19c8c2-f721-4717-9461-fa645777f02b
Thanks for the feedback, and for your courage and vulnerability in sharing your story!