Good Grief

Self-Emptying and the Coming of the Spring

In case you couldn’t tell, I’ve been sucking at Relapse Prevention lately and, as a result, I’ve hit recurrent bottoms that remind me the importance of Abstinence for a person with my disposition.

It hurts, because when things like that happen, life starts to feel very shaky. My decision to enjoy a short term euphoria creates a situation where I lapse into habit patterns and, after a protracted descent into what is called a “bender,” my cognition gets completely screwed and I essentially become verbally manipulative (if not outright abusive). It’s commonly known that these sorts of outbursts most severely harm one’s loved ones, as those are the relations most deeply rooted in one’s early childhood emotional patterns.

Please don’t, however, mistake my description of the mechanics as an obfuscation of my Moral Duty. It’s become my assessment that, for all the neuro-chemistry, addiction ultimately boils down to habits, ethics, and character.¹ These are things that need to be developed over time and, though one can not do it alone, it ultimately comes down to the individual’s decision to choose to become a better person. This involves checking the ego.

The ironically named “Good” Friday being recognized today commemorates the “ἐκένωσεν” Kenosis, or self-emptying, of Christ. In a recent conversation, LCSW Brooke Sprowl talks about a

kind of surrender that doesn’t mean having no agency — that actually means surrendering to what is, surrendering to truth [that goes back] to the Serenity prayer.

It also, of course, relates directly to the Stoic idea of the dichotomy of control (which in their Greco-Roman milieu had a lot of Spiritual significance).

Ultimately, it’s up to each of us alone to be able to find out how to work that out intellectually. Some people find the simplest hack to just hook up with a tradition. That’s never worked for me, but it’s my responsibility to practice rigorously to find alternative ways to avoid bullshitting myself because, as I said, doing it alone is just not working.

Fortunately, there’s abundant symbolical beauty² available to assist with aspiration this weekend. Many blessings to you all.

For the Benefit of all Beings,

Aaron

1. I’ve come to this conclusion over seven years of reading and attending at least five different forms of recovery groups.

2. Easter (n.)

Old English Easterdæg, from Eastre (Northumbrian Eostre), from Proto-Germanic *austron-, "dawn," also the name of a goddess of fertility and spring, perhaps originally of sunrise, whose feast was celebrated at the spring equinox, from *aust- "east, toward the sunrise" (compare east), from PIE root *aus- (1) "to shine," especially of the dawn.

Bede says Anglo-Saxon Christians adopted her name and many of the celebratory practices for their Mass of Christ's resurrection. Almost all neighboring languages use a variant of Latin Pascha to name this holiday (see paschal).