The Clutch

Thoughts on Meta-Cognition

When I first learned to drive, it was with a stick shift.

The most important thing to learn when driving that type of car is how to use the clutch.

The clutch puts the car into temporary neutral, giving one the opportunity to shift up, down, or even into reverse.

One had to know when to apply it, and when to release it.

This is much in the way I apply metacognition throughout the day.

Someone says something to me, and I need to figure out how to respond.

My call might be to speak, to act, to question, to change gears.

Either way, in that moment, I need to have the freedom to refrain from leaping to assumptions.

The same goes for when I can feel the approach of depression or anxiety.

Several things might be happening at the same time, and I’m not certain how to handle it.

My default is to just keep on truckin’ — but if I’m moving in the wrong direction, that may make the situation worse.

So I need the pause in acceleration, I need to recognize “Aha! I’m struggling with X, Y, and Z, and this is causing me to enter into a sub-optimum psychic state.”

Put down the clutch — now I have time to think and consider.

There’s no telling where I’m going from here, but I may have a better option than the one I was going for.

I might even need to pull over. A meal, or some sleep might be in my immediate future.

If I don’t have tools to catch myself in the moment, my tendency is to go off-track entirely.

To crash.

If I’m not in possession of my cognitive faculties, I am unable to do this.

I have dozens of tools to assist my faculties, from meditation to CBT to poetic scripture.

Any and all of them can come in handy, and they are all built into my vehicle’s driveshaft.

I’ve earned this privilege through over a decade of practice.

If I drink, I can’t even get behind the wheel of the car.

But if I realize that “It is what it is,” I don’t need to drink.

The cosmos offers me abundant resources, including my mind’s ability to consider itself.

I think of my mind as a part of my body, a part which glows in aura around it as well.

As long as I can pause, I can handle whatever is coming my way, and react accordingly.

It may not be perfect. I may be “stuck in the same place,” but at least I know where I am.

Who I am is another question — one which continues to escape and fascinate me.

Parts of me are revealed in every scenario.

Some of those parts seem essential, some seem arbitrary or context-dependent.

But here, in the center, I am aware that I Am Aware.

It’s the base of all experience, and connects me to the One.

Safe Driving.

Amiably, 

Aaron